Arousal Problems For Women

Posted by - July 25, 2014 - Guides, Sex - No Comments

Arousal Problems For Women

What do you do when sex just isn’t sexy enough?

We’ve all seen the pop-up ads and the spam offering help with male arousal problems, but it’s far less common for people to discuss how arousal issues can affect women.

Women can struggle to get horny sometimes too. Just as a guy can find it hard to get… well… hard, women can often find it difficult to get wet. There are many different reasons this might happen: too much to drink, tiredness, stress, medication. The problem is much more common than people think.

Sometimes you just don’t want it

So what is it that stops people enjoying sex? The Metro this week published a (very unfunny) list of ‘things about sex that aren’t sexy’. Ranging from ‘it’s messy’ to ‘I make a strange sex face’, we think it’s a bit weird that things which are a normal part of most people’s sex lives would be seen as such a turn off.

Luckily, the Metro article was met with the right reaction – sex bloggers AnyGirlFriday and ExhibitUnadorned gave a run-down of just why the ‘unsexy sex’ article was wrong.

But although most of us enjoy sex in one way or another, there are often things that get in the way of our enjoyment. Reasons why – despite being keen – we’re more likely to turn down the chance of a bit of action. If this is something that affects you (and you’re certainly not alone if it is!) then here are some things that might help.

Reasons for a low sex drive

First thing’s first: if you find that your sex drive has plummeted recently, then there could be a number of factors. It could be due to stress, some new medication (have you switched contraceptive recently? That may be a factor), or something else. Perhaps you and your partner have got stuck in a routine that doesn’t do it for you, or maybe you’re just going through a low patch. If this is the case, there are a few things that might help:

– Talking to your partner. This is always a good place to start, and it may be the case that by discussing what’s troubling you, your partner can help.
– Talking to a doctor. If you’re concerned that the change might be due to a physical or mental health problem, have a chat with your doctor. There are many things that can affect your physical arousal, and you’re definitely not alone!
– Sex products. If you are keen on sex but you’re struggling to get physically aroused, then there are a lots of products that can help you. While men with erectile dysfunction can have a tricky time getting viagra, if a woman can’t get wet, there are plenty of lubes on the market. Check out our guide to buying lube, and pick a couple of your favourites to try out the next time you’re feeling frisky.

Sex should be fun – never an obligation!

Whatever you do, don’t feel like you have to have sex – if you’re not feeling up to it then struggling through is unlikely to make the earth move. You might like to take some time out just for you – to relax or masturbate on your own before you get into bed with a partner. At Belle de Soir, we’re all about fulfilling pleasure – your hottest dreams and fantasies – so for us, sex is about having a good time.

Alongside the terrible Metro article this week, we also saw news that one petulant husband had sent his wife a spreadsheet listing her ‘excuses’ for not wanting to have sex. These included ‘you’re too drunk’ and ‘I’ve just got back from the gym and feel gross.’ Pretty standard stuff, and we think most people can relate to at least one of her reasons – sometimes you’re just not in the mood! It seems like we should add one extra thing to the list of reasons someone might feel unsexy – ‘having a partner who feels like you owe him one.’

One thing’s for sure – if you’ve got problems there are plenty of things that might help, but sex is only ever going to be fun if you’re both into it.

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